a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
