I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
