But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
