i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I need a beard to bite.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
