just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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