I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
