you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
it's like iHOP with fire
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
