He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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