Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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