Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
