Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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