I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
