I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
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She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
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She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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