I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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