Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
accomplished twins. life is a go
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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