we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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