I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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