So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
