so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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