My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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