Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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