my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
