then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
someone owes me an orgasm
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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