i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
