i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
