Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
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I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
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Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?