We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*