doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
