For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration