I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!