I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
