I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
