i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
