The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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