You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
