I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
