We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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