in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
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You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
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I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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