I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
