Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I need moral support for this bender
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
