Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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