is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
