____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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