her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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