my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You ate ashes out of my bong
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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