i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
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