I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
