Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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