I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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