So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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