So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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