Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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