I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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