YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
