Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
