i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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