I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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