I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
