They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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