Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
