lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
