Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
