Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
