The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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