Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
honey bunches of taint.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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