im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
