I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
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