Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
