Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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