I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
