But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It's never too late to be topless.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
