My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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